Steroid-Era Baseball Milestones

10 May

Steroid-Era Baseball Milestones 

1,000 Games Without Getting Tested

Smash Three Bats Simultaneously Over Knee

Lie to Grand Jury Five Times

Write Tell-all Memoir Outing Everyone But Yourself as Steroid User

Thank God, Steroids After Every Home run

Gain 120 Pounds, Hit 400 Home runs, Then Lose 200 Pounds 

Inject Kale Into Steroids For Organic Juicing 

Browse the Internet to Read Up On Ster….AHHH ‘What the Fuck Happened to Sammy Sosa?!’

Confuse Mitchell Report for Joni Mitchell Comeback Album  

Deny Using Steroids, Then Beat Up Reporter Who Asked

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