A Dude’s Perspective: Bright Red Lipstick

9 Apr

9:00 AM, MAY 9 2011
BY Brendan Fitzgibbons, Comedian and Researcher

Lately I’ve noticed that a lot of women are wearing very bright red lipstick. I think it’s a bold, fresh move that makes you really stand out—especially during the rainy season. However, there are some things to consider when going for this look, if you’re interested in a dude’s perspective.

My main complaint about bright red lipstick is that when you have it on, you’re incapable of kissing anyone without turning their face into graffiti. I have been kissed by a woman wearing electric-red lipstick, and people later asked me if my cheek was bleeding. Also, you might want to wear a shade of red that doesn’t make people ask the question, “Are your lips a stop sign? Is this a metaphor for something? Should I exercise caution? Are your parents here? Am I sweating?” And you’d better not drink coffee before you apply some vibrant lipstick, because there’s little room for error: It’s very evident if you get some on your nose or forehead or teardrop tattoo.

A slightly paler shade of red will perfectly accentuate your face. Add a classic white dress and metallic pumps and you’ll look like a beautiful Mad Men character that’s not drunk. But be careful not too wear toomuch white with red lipstick, because then you run the risk of being the bizarro twin of Flo, the Progressive Car Insurance spokesperson.

MAYBELLINE COLORSENSATIONAL LIPCOLOR RED REVIVAL 645, $7, DRUGSTORE.COM

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