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Before Midnight Trailer

1 Apr

Get it! I have not been this excited for a movie since Jurassic Park 2, which wasn’t that good but this is going to be better with less Jeff Goldblum.

A Dude’s Perspective: Rain Gear

20 Mar

7:00 PM, MARCH 19 2013

BY Brendan Fitzgibbons, Comedian and Researcher

Like the saying goes, “April showers bring…oops, you’re covered in mud.” Don’t let this happen to you this spring! Here’s a dude’s perspective on how to dress for rainy days.

I like it when women wear rain gear because it says, “Hey, I’m prepared, and I also think wet toes are gross.” You can’t go wrong with a classic, solid-colored rain jacket, especially one in a darker shade that’ll camouflage any accidental mud or weird splashes from cabs. But be careful not to pick a coat that’s too puffy or oversized, because then you run the risk of looking like you’re wearing a trash bag or hazmat suit.

No water-resistant outfit would be complete without some durable rain boots and a great umbrella. Why not match your jacket with some cool galoshes? There are so many styles and patterns to choose from. I especially like these Ugg flannel wellies, which make your feet look like they’re really into 1990s-era Pearl Jam. Throw in an oversized umbrella and you’re ready to take on any puddle, hurricane or whatever weather-related disaster Al Gore says is going to happen next.

SABENE IMPERIAL BLUE BOOTS, $100, UGG, ZAPPOS.COM

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Superhero Window Washers

14 Mar

Superhero Window Washers

A group of window washers in Memphis dressed up as superheroes and cleaned windows at a children’s hospital. I love this.

New Lucky Post!

4 Mar

A Dude’s Perspective: White Dresses

10:30 PM, MARCH 1 2013
BY Brendan Fitzgibbons, Comedian and Researcher

I love white dresses, and it’s not just because I want to marry you.

Throughout my dating history, I have made it no secret that a white dress is my favorite article of clothing a girl can wear. When I see you in a white dress, I want to put you on a horse and throw flowers at you. White dresses make you sparkle like a dove released from a magician’s hat. Scientific studies have shown that just wearing white can actually make you happier. Have you ever seen an angry polar bear? No—and you wouldn’t want to. Besides, any girl in a white dress would love it if a guy whispered in her ear, “You look like a skinny polar bear, here’s a Coke.”

The great thing about white dresses is that no matter what the design or look, you can always add some color with a statement necklace or a scarf—or just by spilling on yourself! White dresses are also perfect for springtime because they are lightweight, airy and great for any outdoor event: a sports game, trip to the park or Pope resignation. Pair any white dress with a skinny belt and lively necklace, and you’re set for life.

TEXTURED SKATER DRESS WITH BELT, $54, A WEAR, ASOS.COM

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I Talk to My Friend Dino About How to be Funny in Public Speeches!

28 Feb

Official Outrage Template

26 Feb

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Since people like to be offended all the time, I have made an official “I Am Outraged and Offended” Template. Feel free to use next time you are mad at someone. 

I am offended by ___________(politician, celebrity, athlete, interest group) because he, she, they did _______________(action that’s only deemed offensive by member of interest group who only speaks out when said interest group’s cause, specific point of view is attacked). My opinion on this matter is more important than the other 6.5 billion opinions because I am a ________(race, gender, religion, political party, geographic location). And now I am going to ______________(blog, Tweet, write a petition, sit in a dimly lit bar in Brooklyn and tell my like-minded friends, do nothing but this post) about it.

Other “IES” Besides Carnies

22 Feb

 

Other “IES” Besides Carnies 

 

 Arnies-Someone who only orders Arnold Palmer’s 

 

Barnies-Someone who specializes in the the upkeep of barns

 

Darnies- Someone who justifies using the word “darn” more than twice 

 

Farnies-Someone who prefers long distance relationships 

 

Garnies-Someone who specializes in garnishes, particularly cocktail umbrellas

 

Harnies-Someone who gets married in a harness 

 

Jarnies-Someone who only pees in jars

 

Karnies-A step below carnies 

 

Narnies-Someone who can’t stop talking about Narnia 

 

Parnies-Easily confused for pornies 

 

Rarnies-Card carrying member of RARN (Reptile and Amphibian Rescue Network)

 

Sarnies-Someone who has SARS and really enjoys being around it

 

Tarnies-Someone who’s really into tarring and feathering 

 

Yarnies-Someone who makes food out of yarn